so like o.m.geeeez....

welcome to by far the most random entry ever, enjoy

tonight i was able to go to refuge
and i got the holy spirit smack-down.
the title of the lesson was "fully committed"
and lately i know i haven't been committed to anything but feeling sorry for myself
by the end of the night i was crying and snoting and it was just awesome
i've been so tied up in thinking only about myself
and what i'm going to do
and how i'm going to get through it
i never once thanked everyone that had been there for me
and i had never once taken that step back to realize that i was being so caught up in myself
and that i was not going about my situation the right way at all
acting out
and cussing
and being the person i hated being
does not make anything better
how is anybody going to take me seriously if i act like that
i'm supposed to be a servant of God-but how can i convince anyone that my heart is there if i'm acting in an un-Godly way?
all i needed to know was that i was loved, and i thank tori, jordan, mrs. margret, mrs. paula, candice, blake, alex, jake, emily-just everyone-because you've helped me get through everything that's been keeping me down
just by telling me that you've been thinking about me
or praying for me
or that you're happy to see me
it makes me so happy-i know that someone cared enough to even mention it.
in the last year i've changed so much
and i love it
and it hurts so bad to think that i was slipping
but now to know that i've got some of the most awesome people in my corner
that Jesus somehow put there for me
knowing that i would need them for things like this
it's just awesome.

i was thinking earlier what if i had never gone to refuge that first time
what if i had never met tori
or gotten to know jordan
and gone to the closer christmas party
and met O.G. and mrs. paula
and blake and candice
there are so many what if's out there and without them make me terrified of who or where i would be today

i'm so happy right now that i'm being incredibly random and just full of thankfulness and thoughts that i don't know what to do. i could probably run laps around the anex right now.

i'll definitely keep you updated on what's going on with me
keep praying for me
and i'll always be praying for you

<3 Misty