so, life's giving me a hard blow these last few weeks
my dad told me i'm not allowed to go back to healing place
ever
he told me africa was out of the question
and that i'm not allowed back in his house if i go
i love my dad
keep that in mind
but i'm so ticked off about what's going on
he and i talked one day about the church thing
and he told me that sunday was an obligation
that i had to go with him and mom
and that wednesday was not an obligation
that the bible just tells us to make sure we study his word
i think tori uses the words meditate and feeding your soul
which all mean the same thing
and that is what my family church does on wednesday
which is what i was doing at refuge and closer on wednesday and thursday nights
but i think that my dad is being hypocritical when he gives me the obligation speech
then a week later tells me i'm never allowed to go back
i'm sorry but i just don't get it
i'm told to obey my mom and dad
but how do i do that when i feel my dad has taken something away from me that i feel is too much a part of me to just simply be parted with it?
right now is when i feel like i need refuge the most
when i need God the most
and i know where i seek God doesn't matter
but something doesn't feel right doing it on my own in my bedroom
i want the worship band at refuge
i want the people around me that make me feel strong enough to be able to just pray
i don't know how to be who i've become without refuge and closer
and it really stinks to cry every time i think about never being allowed to go back
it's been 2 weeks because today will be my second wednesday not being able to go
and i'm mad
really stinkin mad
all i want is to be able to go back and listen to tweezy or mike hamon or t.o.
anybody
it's only been two weeks and i'm starting to not want to pray anymore
and i just cant help it
i lay in bed at night and say a small prayer for God to help me through this and cry
i want it to be over
like a bad dream
but every day i wake up and i'm still missing something
and i know what it is
but how do i get Him back without being able to go to the places where i found Him?
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
slipping
Posted by Misty at 3:00 AM
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1 comments:
You don't have to be where you found him the first time or the last. God is everywhere..He's with you wherever you find yourself.
Ever heard about being under authority? Basically, under the umbrella of authority there is covering. If we aren't under the umbrella of authority in our lives we get drenched.
Your parents are your authority - one kind atleast. (John Bevere wrote a book called Under Cover. It changed my life completely. I'm mentioning it in form of a suggestion.)
You need to be with your family in a local, Bible believing church. Do HPC as an extracurricular thing - with your Dad's blessing and the conflict between you will vanish. Being obedient means not continuing to retell the story with your objection all over it.
I stumbled upon your blog because of Tori's Dad's and then Tori's. I met her parents a long time ago when she was very small. She has no idea who I am. Don't worry. I'm not a threat.
I pray you will come out of this having learned something-something that will continue to help you in your relationship with Jesus and your parents.
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