wow

tonight at refuge was awesome
good ol chad daniel was preaching and he always blows my mind

there was no message
there never is with him
haha
but still, he said a lot of things that just hit me
but, i'm going to start from the beginning...
God created the heavens and the earth....
wait, that was a little too far

ok, worship=awesome

i started out praying during worship that i put down my guard and learn to trust God like never before. a few post's back i was kinda talking about doubt and trust issues, so that's what i prayed for. that prayer at the beginning of worship stayed with me the rest of the night-i was just kinda lost in worship for a while. it was like something was keeping me focused-which is my problem. i always get kinda bored when i do one thing too long-but for once i didn't have an ADD moment. it just made the worship so much more intense. when chad got up to start his message/stories/whatever else he said it was just awesome. he started out kinda iffy, but at the end he was talking about things holding you back from going after God with your all-which is something i've heard a message on before at the youth rally a while back, but this time was different. what i feel is holding me back is my parents...but it's not. i use that as an excuse, but i never really prayed about it. i need to just get over that-because whether i like what they say or not it's just words. they aren't physically holding me back from anything, and i should actually be thankful for that. i look at everything as poor me b /c my parents are weird about me going to refuge and closer, but actually there are people who have parents that don't tell them about the magnificence of God-their parent's don't understand it. that person goes through life without knowing what life is really about and what their true calling is. i'm so selfish compared to those people-and i definitely need to pray more about that. anyway-back to putting it all into God during worship....

i went up when he asked if anyone needed to be prayed for and as soon as i shut my eyes and began to pray i just cried and i couldn't stop. they just poured and it wasn't until i started just telling God that i loved him more than anything that they began to stop and i started just getting overly happy-i don't know, it was just crazy.

i'm so excited because this is just the beginning of summer and i know that God is going to mold me and test me more than ever this summer and i'm so excited to see what limits he pushes me to and how different i come out on the other end. i have 2 months that i can devote totally to Him-who's with me?

oh, and i'm going to see pirates of the caribbean tomorrow
:)
woot woot