i've had a lot on my mind since friday night...see, that was the night of the youth rally at my school. it was an experience that just opened up my eyes to so much. i've been contemplating blogging it because i didn't know if it was something i could share, if it was something i just wanted to keep to myself, but here i am, ready to write.
so, i get to the gym, help jordan sell shirts, talk to people, thinking this is going to be a good night, but not expecting anything. all i was hoping for was a good turn out people wise because that's what i had been praying for all day, just for that night to be a success. well, we sit down, and the night starts out with a crazy drama and a game of chubby bunny (where you start with either one or two jumbo marshmellows in your mouth and you say chubby bunny, after you have to put one more, and so on and so on and whoever doesn't throw up or you can still hear them say chubby bunny wins). then we go into worship-and i got all into my element. then, they had to play a song that i took so much to heart that it was what led me through the rest of the night. the lyrics were this simple:
so, i get to the gym, help jordan sell shirts, talk to people, thinking this is going to be a good night, but not expecting anything. all i was hoping for was a good turn out people wise because that's what i had been praying for all day, just for that night to be a success. well, we sit down, and the night starts out with a crazy drama and a game of chubby bunny (where you start with either one or two jumbo marshmellows in your mouth and you say chubby bunny, after you have to put one more, and so on and so on and whoever doesn't throw up or you can still hear them say chubby bunny wins). then we go into worship-and i got all into my element. then, they had to play a song that i took so much to heart that it was what led me through the rest of the night. the lyrics were this simple:
You are the source of life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You
I need You, Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
My heart is Your's for life
I need Your hand in mine
No one else will do
I put my trust in You
that just spoke out to me. for the last few months i've been asking God where he was, and why my life hadn't been going so great, why my brother chose the life he did, why my parents act the way the do, my issues with my friends, just life. when i started to listen to this song i started to realize that God rescued me before i needed to be saved. if i hadn't of found God in october, i'd of never been ready for the slight dive my life had taken. he is so awesome!
anyway, i worship in awe for until the main worship was over, and i went back to the bleachers for the message of the night-once again, a slap in the face.
the first words out of jeremy's mouth were "what's holding you back from giving your all to God?"
wow, another question i had been asking both God and myself...i see a pattern...
anyway; he went into the story of the paralyzed man on a mat who got his friends to lower him into see Jesus from the roof of a building-crazy, i know
then the message was broken by a drama-an absolutely amazing drama. it gave different situations that would hold people back from God. the first being the abused child whose parent's hated them; second was a "addict" of any kind; third was the "holy roller" on wednesday and sunday, but the rest of the time they were themselves; the fourth was the pregnant teenager whose "love of her live" left her alone with a kid; the fifth being the kid that was once popular when they were good for something, but after getting an injury their friends don't want to be around them anymore; and the sixth was the one that felt that they had nothing to live for, so they would take their life into their own hands....
then run by kutless came on, and the lyrics (gosh, i'm a sucker for lyrics) explain it all:
**this is where i raised my hand**
i finally realized that i'm passionate for God, but i've always held back because i honestly didn't know what to believe. in one ear is someone telling me that you can feel him, you can hear him, you can speak to him. the other ear was the opposite, telling me that that just doesn't happen anymore. i finally realized that it doesn't matter who is on the other end of those words, what matters is that i've been changed. what matters is that without being brought to HPC i would of never of made it through the last few months. i was so close to the sixth kid, the one with no hope left. if i had never found refuge and the awesome friends i have there i don't think i would be alive to write this right now.
so, after i go up to the alter a girl i'd only met once, about 2 hours before, prayed over me and started to speak in tongues and just tell me how much God needed me and how much he wanted me to be a witness to my family and friends; how he knew i was strong and needed me to stay strong for him. i'd started crying like i never had before, like a burden was lifted. i finally found out that He loved me. He cared about what i was going through and that He wasn't leaving me alone. it is almost as if these were thing i already knew, i just finally heard the words that made me realize that this isn't a game, this is real, He is real, and this is what i want to live for for the rest of my life.
God is Awesome!
anyway, i worship in awe for until the main worship was over, and i went back to the bleachers for the message of the night-once again, a slap in the face.
the first words out of jeremy's mouth were "what's holding you back from giving your all to God?"
wow, another question i had been asking both God and myself...i see a pattern...
anyway; he went into the story of the paralyzed man on a mat who got his friends to lower him into see Jesus from the roof of a building-crazy, i know
then the message was broken by a drama-an absolutely amazing drama. it gave different situations that would hold people back from God. the first being the abused child whose parent's hated them; second was a "addict" of any kind; third was the "holy roller" on wednesday and sunday, but the rest of the time they were themselves; the fourth was the pregnant teenager whose "love of her live" left her alone with a kid; the fifth being the kid that was once popular when they were good for something, but after getting an injury their friends don't want to be around them anymore; and the sixth was the one that felt that they had nothing to live for, so they would take their life into their own hands....
then run by kutless came on, and the lyrics (gosh, i'm a sucker for lyrics) explain it all:
Why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know iat the end of the drama jeremy finished his message, followed by an alter call. the first call was for anyone who wanted to be saved, the second one was for anyone who just felt like they weren't giving God their all, something was keeping them from him....
just, just want to be with you
Looking down from above as you watch TV
Wondering why, oh you're ignoring me
Do you remember, remember when i came to you
And you love me
And i'm waiting for you
And i'm waiting for you
Why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know i
just, just wanna be with you, to be with you
Hey, why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know
I just, just wanna be with you, to be with you...
Whatever happened to the love, the love you had for me
When you first came to me
Don't you know that i died, died so i could be with you
forever
And i'm waiting for you
And i'm waiting for you
Why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know i
just, just wanna be with you, to be with you
Hey, why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know
I just, just wanna be with you, to be with you...
Find a place of solitude, and i'll speak to you
As you pray to me
Don't you know i'm waiting here, waiting for you to
read and hear word
I'm waiting here missing the time the times we shared
oh, please come to me
Why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know i
just, just wanna be with you, to be with you
Hey, why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know
I just, just wanna be with you, to be with you...
**this is where i raised my hand**
i finally realized that i'm passionate for God, but i've always held back because i honestly didn't know what to believe. in one ear is someone telling me that you can feel him, you can hear him, you can speak to him. the other ear was the opposite, telling me that that just doesn't happen anymore. i finally realized that it doesn't matter who is on the other end of those words, what matters is that i've been changed. what matters is that without being brought to HPC i would of never of made it through the last few months. i was so close to the sixth kid, the one with no hope left. if i had never found refuge and the awesome friends i have there i don't think i would be alive to write this right now.
so, after i go up to the alter a girl i'd only met once, about 2 hours before, prayed over me and started to speak in tongues and just tell me how much God needed me and how much he wanted me to be a witness to my family and friends; how he knew i was strong and needed me to stay strong for him. i'd started crying like i never had before, like a burden was lifted. i finally found out that He loved me. He cared about what i was going through and that He wasn't leaving me alone. it is almost as if these were thing i already knew, i just finally heard the words that made me realize that this isn't a game, this is real, He is real, and this is what i want to live for for the rest of my life.
God is Awesome!
1 comments:
...wow. That's just awesome.
I wish they'd play "Rescue" at Refuge more often, it's one of my favorite songs.
-Jason
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