surgery :)

wow, i never thought i could possibly be this happy after having my tummy cut open. but, before you can be happy, you need to know the WHOLE story...and it's quite depressing at some points...


a year ago in february i was told that i would never be able to have kids. it was blowing news...especially since i was told this because i was "born without reproductive organs." which means, if the baby carriage isn't there then no baby. i accepted it, kind'a. i told myself that God had another plan for my life. i don't know if i believed myself or not, and i did go into a "depression" and found out the hard way i was happier off of the depression medication my doctor put me on. i was always upset, and i have teachers and friends that will tell you that i would bust out crying out of nowhere because i would just think about what was going on. it was just a hard year, and i eventually just told myself that i either had to live with it or i'll never be able to really live my life, so i learned to deal. well, after being put on estrogen and missing a pill and finding out the goody stuff that happens then i knew that i had more than what my doctor told me i did. well, it was back to the doctor. she "examined my woman-hood" and found out i might have a small uterus. so, we scheduled surgery-i was not excited. i thought this surgery would just confirm what i already knew, and possibly make me more miserable than i already was. i started praying every day for the doctors to be successful and for the best results to come, and when i was asking God for the "best" results, i meant no cancer. he took it up a notch for me. it may not be absolutely awesome results, but it is better than i could ever imagine.


when i woke up from surgery my doctor was standing over me with a big smile on her face. she told me i did good and that my shoulder would be in pain later (i don't know what that has to do with anything, but she wasn't kidding) the nurses wheeled my back into my room and i was still really out of it, and for a little bit of TMI all i wanted to do was go pee. well, after the nurse allowed me to relieve myself she went and got my parents. they walked into the room with big smiles on their faces, and i hadn't caught on yet. i asked what they found and mom told me the good news. i have half a uterus and one healthy ovary, that they had to remove a cyst from but other than that it was fine. the other ovary is small and looked a little "flat". my doctor says she doesn't think that one is going to be able to produce any eggs whatsoever. as audrey says, my ovaries are like nemo's fins....they are a little challenged. the best part of the news was that i can have kids. my first pregnancy will be only 37 weeks, a normal pregnancy being 40. this is because my uterus is so small it will have to be stretched out during my first pregnancy. anyway, when i found out, still being in my woozyness i didn't know what to do or say. i picked up my cellphone and texed tori. i told her to call mrs. paula and tell her too, because i was so happy. i don't know why, but they were the first two people i thought of to tell, outside of the list of people my parents already told, being my second mother mrs. patience, and my friends that were at the hospital with me, heather and mimi. i think it is so awesome the way God works. He carried me through everything that i went through in the last year, and He is still working in my heart. it is so awesome. i am so excited to see what else He does for me.

another high note of my holiday is ashley and jami. they had a youth conference and are now so on fire for their maker it is unreal. check out their blogs on their myspaces by clicking on their names.