newwww poemzerz

New..just doesn't have a title yet

yeah...

it has a new style

if you've ever read an Ellen Hopkins book you'd understand

but hopefully you haven't

some purple

and drug use

but it kinda helps me understand addiction

and learn why i never want to get involved

lol

so anyway...read the untitled poem..

comment me

help me with a title

it's very short

boring

but kinda different

idk

you tell me

haha

so here it is..

finally.

Lying

Hiding

Running from the truth

Crying

Trying

But never succeeding

Lost

Afraid

Terrified of finding

Death

Life

I’m somewhere in between

Premonition

Intuition

Mine aren’t feeling very well

Needing

Wanting

Help from you

Begging

Pleading

For a savior

Forgetting

Losing

Everything I’ve worked for

Fading

Falling

Into the world

Becoming

Changing

I’m another mime

Unavoidable

Inevitable

Change is necessary to survive

Misunderstand

Reiterate

What I need of Him.

Find

Discover

The way I’ve changed

Remember

Decide

That He is what I need to survive

Love

Devotion

My God gives it to me

Understanding

Explanation

Opens my eyes

Beginning

Starting

To run the other way

Turning

Changing

Back to the One who loves me

Un-blinded

Un-muted

He gave me a voice

Determination

Dedication

From here on out

Never swaying

Love unchanging

To my Everlasting God!

~Amen

Saving Me!/Enough

Saving Me


Let it fall, let it pour,

As I'm clinging to the floor.

I'm lost and alone,

I can't do this on my own.



Let it come down like rain,

As I'm clinging to my pain.

I'm scared to let go

I've fallen so low.



Let me drown in the storm.

I do not deserve to be adorned.

I'm not the same,

I hate the person I became.



Let it shower over me,

As I'm clinging to the key.

I'm afraid to open the door,

Even though it's saved me before.



Let the mercy come down!

As I'm embracing the crown!

He's the only one I believe.

His words will never deceive.



So bring on the grace

Even when I'm a disgrace.

I may try to run,

But that's when His work has only begun.



So seek me out, Oh God!

Do not leave me where I trod!

This world is too much for me.

Please, just set me free!



He finds where I hide

He leads where I ride

He lifts when I fall

He answers when I call



He searches what I seek

He strengthens when I'm weak

He dies because I sin

He lives to begin.

~Misty



Enough

My stomach isn't flat enough
My height isn't short enough
My voice isn't loud enough
My hair isn't long enough.

My eyes aren't big enough
My lips aren't pouty enough
My lashes aren't thick enough
My teeth aren't white enough.

My nose isn't small enough
My face isn't thin enough
My skin isn't tan enough
My waist isn't curved enough.

My arms aren't strong enough
My legs aren't cute enough
My hands aren't slim enough
My ears aren't pierced enough.

I've simply come to decide
That I've nothing to hide.
Nobody that has my trust
Can make me believe I'm pretty enough.

~Misty Farmer

so i've been writing a lot lately, it's probably all that's going to go on here for a while.
i really need feed back on these-even if it's just to tell me they suck, lol.

k, even though nobody reads my blog

i'm going to post...

this is a poem i wrote, instead of doing an actual post
it kinda just came to me
because i've been doing a lot of thinking lately.


Me

falling back to the world
slipping once again
i don't know how i got here
into these troubles i let in

i never should of let go
of the one who held me up
i never should of given in
to the world that gave me no luck

a desire for him is more than i can stand
i don't know how to go back
how do i seek him
when he knows what i lack?

my heart is so lost
my mind is too
my soul is all i have
and it doesn't know what to do

i don't even know who i am
but i know i'm not who i want to be
i'm afraid of living
i'm afraid of me

i'm searching for a way out
calling to him for peace
but i haven't heard a reply
and i've waited for weeks.

i can't help but wonder
has he let me go?
has he forgotten?
how am i to know?

i miss my God
i want to find him
before i get so lost
my heart's fire has gone dim

how do i go back
how do i become free
how do i let the world go
how do i be me?

<3 Misty

omg!!

I JUST CAME UP WITH THE MOST AWESOME RECIPE FOR A SCRAMBLED EGG SANDWICH!!

INGREDIENTS:
2 EGGS
2 'PINCHES' SLAP YA MAMMA
2 'PINCHES' SALT
3 'PINCHES' SUGAR
1 TABLE SPOON HONEY MUSTARD

DIRECTIONS:
TURN HEAT ON STOVE TOP TO MEDIUM
CRACK BOTH EGGS INTO PAN
ADD ALL INGREDIENTS
STIR UNTIL THE EGGS ARE SCRAMBLED
**MUST DO IT THIS WAY-NOT IN A CUP**
DO NOT HARD SCRAMBLE-A LITTLE WET IS OK!!

PUT ON TOAST WITH MAYO AND/OR CHEESE AND ENJOY
:)

I'M A STINKIN GENIUS!!
LOL
I JUST HAD TO SHARE THAT

so like o.m.geeeez....

welcome to by far the most random entry ever, enjoy

tonight i was able to go to refuge
and i got the holy spirit smack-down.
the title of the lesson was "fully committed"
and lately i know i haven't been committed to anything but feeling sorry for myself
by the end of the night i was crying and snoting and it was just awesome
i've been so tied up in thinking only about myself
and what i'm going to do
and how i'm going to get through it
i never once thanked everyone that had been there for me
and i had never once taken that step back to realize that i was being so caught up in myself
and that i was not going about my situation the right way at all
acting out
and cussing
and being the person i hated being
does not make anything better
how is anybody going to take me seriously if i act like that
i'm supposed to be a servant of God-but how can i convince anyone that my heart is there if i'm acting in an un-Godly way?
all i needed to know was that i was loved, and i thank tori, jordan, mrs. margret, mrs. paula, candice, blake, alex, jake, emily-just everyone-because you've helped me get through everything that's been keeping me down
just by telling me that you've been thinking about me
or praying for me
or that you're happy to see me
it makes me so happy-i know that someone cared enough to even mention it.
in the last year i've changed so much
and i love it
and it hurts so bad to think that i was slipping
but now to know that i've got some of the most awesome people in my corner
that Jesus somehow put there for me
knowing that i would need them for things like this
it's just awesome.

i was thinking earlier what if i had never gone to refuge that first time
what if i had never met tori
or gotten to know jordan
and gone to the closer christmas party
and met O.G. and mrs. paula
and blake and candice
there are so many what if's out there and without them make me terrified of who or where i would be today

i'm so happy right now that i'm being incredibly random and just full of thankfulness and thoughts that i don't know what to do. i could probably run laps around the anex right now.

i'll definitely keep you updated on what's going on with me
keep praying for me
and i'll always be praying for you

<3 Misty

soooo

it's been over a month since i've posted
so i reckon it's about time
to update people that don't get to talk to me all the time about what's been going on in my life.
i've been allowed to go to church twice since july
which is way better than not at all
i'm always working
so there isn't really anything interesting going on in my life right now
except that i got a new puppy
and i'll have pictures of her up really soon
yes yes
she is a corgie
and incredibly cute!
that's about it for now
moucho love to my peoples

<3 Misty

AHHHHH!!!

ok, so i've decided i'm pretty much awesome, hands down. i wrote an e-mail to my teacher in charge of the Fellowship of Christian Students club at school about some of my ideas for this next year. this is the message i wrote her:

Hey! I'm sorry this isn't going to be a formal letter. I just wanted to run a few ideas by you for FCS to participate in this year. The first thing that God has really put on my heart-and I personally feel it's not addressed enough-is abortion. There is a nation-wide event called "day of silence." You can read some about it at www.standtrue.com . It's really awesome. The whole point is "can you lose your voice for a day for those that will never have one?" I think it could be a good opportunity to show not only our rights of protest-but the ability to maybe change someone's heart. I know French Settlement from the student point of view, and I've been hearing about girls in my class getting abortions since the seventh grade. Maybe if we show them, by participating in this "activity" they will learn a new out look. The main thing I need is permission to do this-and I know it would be easier with someone on the faculty backing me up. Please pray about it and get back to me. Another thing I want to look into doing another one of my passions-one I picked up from being around Jordan Guitreau too long- is Africa. I know we can't go to Africa-even though that would be totally awesome if a high school Christian group did a mission trip-but I know it's not going to happen. I was thinking more along the lines of asking students to participate in something called "Children's Cup." It's an organization that helps the orphanages in Africa. You could go to the site and read some of the stories and see the pictures and understand why I'm so heart broken over it. I know we really can't do much with our limited resources, but I would like so see, seeing as how I know the founder of children's cup, if he could do me a favor. They have "change" the world cups. It's a cup that just has information on it and you put any spare change in it. That money gets turned in and goes to helping get food and medicine and clothes for the children in the orphanages in Africa. I know not very many people in French Settlement have money-but they don't have to participate if they don't want to. We can hand out the cups and if we don't see them again then at least we tried-but I really want to see our FCS students fired up about helping out the world we live in. And finally, my last idea, which I know is out of the box and completely unlikely-but I want to plan a small one day mission trip to serve breakfast and speak to the homeless people in New Orleans. I really think it could help open the eyes of the students that see homeless people as stupid people that deserve the life that they are living-but what most of them don't see is most of these people didn't choose to live this way. I think it would be an eye opener. Yes, I know we don't have money, but we could raise enough to get what we need. Car washes, bake sales, fund raising "activities", selling shirts...pretty much anything. This may even draw more people into FCS. I see it like this-all the other clubs get to do some kind of field trip during the year-why can't the Christians have one? This may be our chance to Stand Up, Stand Out, and Change the World. It's pretty much the saying I live by. Thanks for listening, and please pray about it and get back to me as soon as you can.

God bless,

Misty Farmer


then....this is what she wrote me back....


Hi, i am so happy to hear from you and hear what is on your heart. I can sense your enthusiasm and you have a lot of wonderful suggestions and ideas to help our club grow. That has been my prayer for years, for God to send me students that are committed to the calling and to give us creative outreaches to touch the people around us. We will start to meet next week. We will talk about all of this later. I just want you to know i love your ideas and we will see what we can do.

Bless you sweetie!!!!

Charlaine Whann
French Settlement High Science Teacher
Come and see what God has done, how awesome his works in man's behalf! Psalms 66:5

lets talk about stinkin score!!!!
i'm so pumped right now!!
AHHHHHHH
I'M SO HAPPY
ok, time to me to go to bed
g'night world!!